Ups and downs living with my cancer and a maternity brace

It’s now Tuesday, I’ve just had my monthly hormone injection, the nurse was fantastic she has done 3 out of 4 of them, the last time it was done by a nurse whom I didnt know, she wasn’t particularly friendly about the process and didn’t make me feel at ease, consequentially I had a pretty poor reaction to the injection that lasted for a few days. Today I didn’t feel a thing except for the initial piercing well who wouldn’t when you are being giving an injection the size of an elephant tranquilizer. I’m, not that Ive ever been in close quarters with an elephant tranquilized I’m just assuming they must be pretty big.

It’s amazing how the effect of being friendly has on someone 🐘 Thank you nurse for making it a really pleasent experience for me.👼

I’m going back to the hospital to see a specialist about having a back brace fitted, this could be a great help going forward when I’m back to teaching in ambulances. Anyone who reads this blog from outside the UK must marvel at the healthcare we receive, I consider myself extremely lucky and grateful that I receive this level of treatment without paying for it. ❤️

I’m feeling really good today, you just can’t tell from one day what feeling you are going to wake up too from day to day. Its amazing really how the mind and body work together to create your experience of life. I question what I’ve done differently to make me feel on such a high today. I’ve always been like this even before the cancer came along and changed everything(,not necessarily for the worse). I often had days when for no reason I felt incredibly high, I used to for balance also have days when for no reason I just felt low, but luckily the lows were much less frequent. ⚖️

Today is cold and grey, the weather lady described it as iron grey skies, she’s about right. I’m going to don my not quite so new but still bright blue jacket and get out for a walk around the estate maybe twice today.

The hospital visit was short but not so sweet, I saw a fracas between a member of staff and a very distressed patient going on at the entrance. How you angels do this job is totally beyond me. I won’t pass comment on the distressed angry guy except to say what ever is wrong with you can’t excuse the lack of respect you showed to someone that was clearly on your side and I hope that you get the right treatment to put you right again, nobody can pass judgement we just don’t know what’s going on in other peoples lives. The security guards arrived within seconds and it was all over. I wonder how the nurse felt as she walked away, another day at the office I suppose, I just wanted to put my arm around her and tell her thanks for the amazing job you do , you don’t deserve that.❤️🌹

The brace has been fitted, the doctor said a regular back brace so he suggested going for something slightly different and fitted me up with a maternity brace😃 I said to him, why not doc, I’m gradually changing into a woman anyway what difference will one more thing make. I’ll wear the brace the next opportunity I get to go out in an ambulance which is hopefully Friday morning now.

It’s jumped to wednesday lunchtime, I’m exhausted and have done not a lot. I’m in the process of making a veggie soup for the family for when they return from schooling duties. It’s surprising how I’m going from feeling exhausted one day to top of the world the next. At least I’m grateful that I get those top of the world days. I’ve slept 14 hours today

The cloud has broken and the sun is making an appearance as if by magic the birds start singing as if welcoming the sunshine back. When I’ve made the soup I’m going to get out and go for a walk. I cant explain the tiredness I’m getting from doing nothing. Well I’ve not exactly done nothing I’ve had a blood test for various things but importantly my PSA level which I should find out tomorrow, let’s pray it’s still low.

When I got back from the blood test , I thought I would take a ten minute nap, it turned out to be just shy of 4 hours, it’s crazy how much I’m needing sleep right now. I’m thinking of entering myself into the world sleep championship, if there is such a thing. I’m quite sure none of the other contestants would stand a chance.

Blue coat zipped up with my prostate cancer uk bobble hat keeping me warm I’m out the door. The air is cold but really fresh, there is more blue sky than clouds. Although I feel the fatigue still creeping silently through me, getting outside is the medicine I need. I’ve not done enough outside stuff in the last few weeks and I certainly can’t blame it on the weather. Here we go, speak soon.

Went for a 4km walk down to the river and back, the weather was amazng, I took my time as the usual spring in my step is not quite there from recent months so the walk was more of a struggle. It was worth it though, I walked down to my favourite place by the river, the tide was out, lots of wading birds lined up along the water’s edge looking for tiny morsels of food, no seal today, long time since I’ve seen that seal just chilling on the mud flats by the edge of the river, perhaps he’s moved on, delighting someone else with his presence, hopefully inspiring a young child to love nature as I do.

The soup didn’t go so well, it turned into some kind of green mush when it was blended and tasted like green mush should taste like, ah well can’t win them all, the less said about that tragedy the better.😃

The rest of the day was a mixture of naps went to sleep at 9.30pm and woke up to my alarm clock this thursday morning. I already feel that this is a top of the world day

A little vblog I’ve done summing up the last couple of days, sometimes it’s easier to say how you feel than write.

PS edit since publishing this blog I’ve had my latest PSA test results back 0.16, yes we are kicking this cancers but.