Just be kind

How do you know what someone is going through, most of the time none of us have a clue what people are going through. Humans are experts at hiding or disguising their feelings. Often we swop emotions to protect ourselves.

Be kind to the miserable ones because they are probably going through a lot of stuff. If someone is acting miserable don’t take it personal, because that will make you miserable back to them just treat them with kindness.

You will come across people and instantly dislike them because of that first impression, if they are miserable negative or act in some other negative manner, use kindness as your choice of response.

I wrote those first few paragraphs in response to how I was feeling last week, although I probably didn’t appear miserable to most people I met, I’m good at hiding my outer emotions and always have been. In truth I probably met a handful of people at best last week. But next time you come across someone who just appears miserable maybe even appears rude, stop a moment and ask yourself what’s making them be like that, don’t fall into the trap of being horrible back it will do nobody any good. Being kind makes you feel good, gives you a sense of self worth and confidence.

I’m in hospital most of today going from appointment to appointment, there’s no point me driving home between each one so I’m just going to hang around. I like watching people in the hospital, you see so much kindness going on.

I’m watching an elderly couple, must be well into their 80s at least, they haven’t let go of each other since I’ve been watching. She is the Ill one and he is so obviously devoted too her, it’s plain to see, it’s pure love.

I smile as he looks over to me, I feel emotional and my eyes start to give it away, I wonder how long they’ve been together, what they’ve experienced and where they’ve been together. They just look like one of those couples that have been together forever. He pushes her out of the lounge after a while, I silently thank him for letting me see his tenderness and devotion to his partner, I’ll assume it’s his wife.

It’s strange but I love being inside hospitals. You see the whole of humanity in hospital, people in pain, people emitting empathy like an invisible mist. A mum and baby are now opposite me, again the devotion is obvious even though they look like they haven’t known each other that long. The baby is crying, it’s telling the world I’m hungry, mum looks exhausted.

A bed with a patient is wheeled past, I wonder which ward they are going to, it reminds me of my own journey from A&E to the cancer ward. My real recognition only hit me when I saw I was being pushed into a McMillan cancer ward, up till then my brain hadn’t processed that information, I honestly didn’t know I had cancer untill that moment. I guess they gave me lots of clues but I just didn’t pick up on them. One of my first blogs describes this moment back in September or was it August , I really can’t remember, life was a bit of a blur, a mixture of pain and tests.

A policeman comes in with someone chained to him, I wonder what he’s done wrong. I wonder what life situation caused him to turn to crime, could that have been me if my circumstances had been different,they are talking friendly to each other the policeman looks relaxed. What an amazing job our police do and yet they get a horrendous reception from a lot of us, all can say is they’ve never done me wrong to me in my 55 years so far.

The porters in the hospital’s always stand out to me, they do a fine job ferrying us from place to place. I’ve always found them kind and friendly. Being kind and friendly has a massive effect on a patient. Did you know that when someone is genuinely being kind and friendly to you your cells in your body change, the chemicals in your body change. It has a massive effect on your system. It creates positivity for one thing. Positivity is one of the powers that heals us.

Got to go now, consultation time.

Hello again, lots of interesting info from my doctor. To cut it short my hormone treatment tablets is most likely causing my fatigue, it’s back again today so I’m coming off them for 3 weeks to see what happens and then if my fatigue goes they will resume the tablets but with a lower dose. They have also discovered something in my back from a recent scan that may be the cause of the numbness and pain and will now look into surgery to sort that out.

It’s easy to get down, but I’ve just got to keep just holding the thought that this is all good and that if surgery helps me to regain some more normality, then that’s fantastic, I’m not afraid of surgery I must just keep telling myself that. Well I am but that’s just between you and me, I’m going to treat it as another adventure in my journey to beat this cancer, sometimes telling yourself a lie or two is fully acceptable if it gets you the mindset you need.

Sometimes telling yourself you feel good even if you feel shit is a really good thing, sometimes telling yourself your not afraid even if you are terrified is good too, these lies are perfectly acceptable and after a while they start to change into the truth, so why not.

Overall it’s really positive, once the balance of the drugs is sorted and the surgery done I’ll be a new man, I’m still convinced the cancer is receding, she said it’s certainly possible, I said everything is possible.

Everything has to be possible, if you are reading this and facing something similar you’ve got to keep telling yourself that everything is possible. Nobody understands why people suddenly heal themselves but they do and it’s not as uncommon as you may think. Never give up, no matter what you are told. I’m more positive that things are going to be ok, it’s going to take a bit of time and no doubt I’ll share some not so good times with you, the reader, but I’m 100% convinced we will beat this.

You notice I say we, well I believe you reading this and thinking of me as well as thinking of others in this similar situation will be an overwhelming force that cancer just can’t beat. A tidal wave of positive thought is in my opinion the link that creates miracles.

The blog has always been about helping others which I now know it does. Keep reading and keep believing , your shared support is how I and others will beat our illnesses and other problems.

I’m off to the MRI Machine now, I’ll make sure I thank it.

I’m back again, the adventure continues, am I the first human to fall asleep in a MRI scanning machine from start to finish, even more remarkable was the music they promised me wasn’t switched on, I actually fell asleep to the roars and bangs and bongs and all other manner of noises these machines create whilst they are taking pictures of you. The nurse even said to me did you enjoy your sleep. I was in the tunnel for about an hour, it felt like 5 minutes no more, hope I wasn’t snoring, it would be something to out snore an MRI Machine wouldn’t it. 😀

Awfully tired now. I’ve spent some time with the kids, most of it drifting in and out of sleep, god I love my girls, this is my force to fight this. Cancer is not going to take me from them, we are going to spend many more evenings and days together of that I’m sure. Love overpowers everything♥️