Stress and fear of cancer

When I was first diagnosed with cancer it was possibly the single most fearful moment of my life. The fact that I didn’t even realise I had cancer untill I was being wheeled in to the cancer ward at Medway Hospital in Kent just added to the surprise and shock of the moment. I suppose in that very instant I didn’t really have time to become scared. It was like waking from a coma and realising your legs have gone or something horrible like that. I was numb, paralysed.

The first reaction was surprise closely followed by his brother called disbelief and then all the siblings and relatives joined in such as anger, sadness, guilt, frustration, terror you name it they were all there and wrapped up in a bomb of shock. Do you know the moment you are told you have cancer can instantly spark off PTSD in many people. Instant PTSD and a whole lot of emotions all combined together. I doubt there are many things in life that do that to a person in just a few seconds.

Luckily I’m quite strong minded so I calmed down quite quickly and started to think of a way of dealing with this. I’ve done a lot of research into the mind and I knew that was going to be my most powerful ally to get me through this as best as I could possibly manage. Manage is a very key word here, it’s how you manage your thoughts and feelings that goes on to dictate the experience you have.

It all happens so fast one day as far as I’m aware I don’t have cancer the next  I’m told I have cancer and I’m being zapped with radiation in my spine, all of that happened in 48 hours, how can life change in a heart beat. After spending many months in pain it was the last thing in the back of my mind that cancer could be the cause of it all. I knew about cancer but I just didn’t think it would be me.

Once I settled down I knew the worst thing was to live in fear so I pretended I wasn’t scared. One of the most dangerous problems with cancer and anything associated with it is the general level of fear it creates. Fear of the diagnosis fear of the treatment fear of dying and it never ends because then you get fear every time you ring to check your monthly blood results, there are a lot of fears just waiting to leap into your mind and that’s exactly what they did. They queued up as if on a diving board and somersaulted into my head. But I knew that fear also creates the most powerful weapon that cancer loves and that’s to create a huge amount of stress, this means you spend lots of time living with harmful stress chemicals flooding your body in other words you go into a semi permanent fight or flight response. This is your bodies way of fending off harm and it’s ok in small doses but with cancer it doesn’t come in small doses it takes over the body and the mind and that’s when it becomes dangerous because a body and mind running on stress is weakening the immune system and that’s exactly what us cancer patients need the most, a strong immune system that can fight off the unwelcome advance of cancer cells.

Stress chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol help to weaken our immune systems and when we are already operating with a weakened immune system thanks to the effects of cancer and the treatments given its a bad combination. I read somewhere recently that most causes of cancer actually happen because of a weakened immune system. Every single one of us has those cancer cells potentially waiting to awaken and it’s only our immune system that fends them off.

One of the things that we have to be really aware of is something Ive come to call cancer of the mind, this is where almost all of the thoughts you have are connected to cancer. The mind needs a break from the bombardment of fear and anxiety that cancer creates. Every cancer thought attacks the immune system. It’s like my thoughts are tearing down the wall inside of me that protects me each thought is another brick being removed

I’ve learned to stop living with fear and instead focus on living with hope. In fact I learned that pretty quick. Each act of positiveness creates a stronger wall, the immune system can fight back if we feed it the best diet which is not one based on fear or worry.

I think that all of us are programmed through life to have an instant fear of cancer. There is rarely anything positive attached to the word cancer so we just accept that’s the way to process it using fear and stress.

My last two years has on the whole been very positive, it’s like life is a balancing act the more positivity I can summon up then the scales are tipping in my favour. Did you know each thought has a response in our 50 trillion cells that make us what we are. Every negative thought changes those cells to become negative to us and create more problems. Every positive thought builds positive cells and a positive reaction in our bodies. The most powerful two words are I Am what follows them is what you get. I am incurable or I am curable, it makes a hell of a difference how you talk to yourself. I decided to ignore the oncologist and start off with I am curable, in fact now ive gone one step further in a daily mantra I recite every single day sometimes once sometimes ten times a day, I am well, I am cancer free, one day I’m hoping that will become true.

One thing that all of us who have cancer have to do is to stop our fear from manifesting something worse. We need to turn our fear around, like I said I lied to myself and lots of people at first that I’m not afraid, I’ve been saying it for nearly two years and now I don’t fear that fear. Being afraid is the normal reaction, we need to change that reactions in any way we can.

I have this strong belief that I will heal, I believe my mind will do a lot of the healing, living with cancer is never easy, I’m constantly thinking I’m getting better or getting worse, every new twinge of pain presses the alarm in my mind, was that cancer, was it something else, this is what cancer does. I do my best to tell myself it’s not cancer that made me suddenly hurt somewhere. I suppose I’ve been on a roller coaster of a journey, a lot has been good, the good days fortunately outweigh the bad ones. My belief in myself being able to beat this is powerful and keeps me going despite the odd curve ball that gets thrown at me.

“Change the way think and the things you think about change”. I love this quote, it’s so true and rings true for all of life’s ups and downs.

Here’s an amazing example of the power of the mind that I recently come across. During a clinical trial cancer patients were given chemotherapy but some of the trialist were not given the chemotherapy and instead were given a placebo, in other words they believed they were getting the chemotherapy, to the amazement of the researchers thirty percent of those on the placebo actually lost their hair as if they were on the chemotherapy. That’s the power of belief, the mind can do all kinds of things if you are open to it.

Here are some tips for dealing with the stress of living with cancer:

• Allow yourself to feel your emotions. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and fear, when you’re diagnosed with cancer. It’s important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to express them in a healthy way.
• Talk to someone you trust. Talking to a friend, family member, therapist, or other trusted person can help you to cope with the stress of cancer. They can offer support, understanding, and advice.
• Learn about cancer and your treatment options. The more you know about your cancer the easier it is to understand the treatment process. There are many treatment options for many cancers.
• Take care of yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally during cancer treatment. This includes eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. It also includes finding healthy ways to relax and de-stress, such as yoga, meditation, or spending time in nature. I’ve been on a plant based diet for two years and I’ve recently started Tai Chi again which really relaxes my mind.
• Join a support group. Support groups can provide a safe place to connect with other people who are going through what you are. They can offer support, understanding. Beware though some social media groups can be extremely negative.

• Set realistic goals. Don’t try to do too much at once. Break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones.
• Be patient with yourself. It takes time to adjust to living with cancer. Don’t expect to feel better overnight.
• Ask for help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your family, friends, or healthcare team. Talking with other people who share what you are going through is very useful.
• Celebrate your successes. Take the time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. This will help you to stay positive and motivated. Keeping positive is vital.

Remember, you are not alone. There are many people who care about you and want to help you through this.

Since my diagnosis I have kept the belief that one day I will be healed despite having stage four aggressive cancer that is supposed to be incurable, only time will tell. I’m happy listening to the birds, going for walks and watching my children laugh and smile, I can’t afford to think that will be taken away.

Thanks for reading my latest thoughts.

Take care

Love Woody ❤️