The Robin and the man with cancer

Still buzzing from yesterday’s good news, in case you didn’t read yesterday’s blog my PSA level has dropped even further from 0.45 down to 0.16, that’s incredible according to my doctor.

Why is it so low considering my first blood test for PSA came back at 288 which is incredibly high and at that point my cancer was rampant it had spread from my prostate into my bones leading me to have two fractures in my back, all of this was going on whilst I believed I was going through a bad case of sciatica.

In my opinion the change of life style the meds and the universe are all to thank for bringing it down and hopefully stopping it spreading further. I tell it every day it’s not going to win, I tell it everyday how I’m getting better and better. The other thing I have to be grateful for is the invisible and magical aura of love that so many people have sent to me.

Today the sun is shining , I’m sitting in the garden sipping apple  blackberry and cinnamon tea. It’s good to be in the fresh air once again. The sun has some warmth to it now, I call it healing warmth. I feel the sun’s rays gently warming and healing me. The Robin has returned again, I’m assuming it’s the same one as a few days ago. He’s looking at me through intelligent eyes. He nods at me and hops even closer. I’m lucky to have his presence. He’s sitting about 8 feet away from me his red breast proudly stuck out as if to say I’m the man around here, I’m happy to let him think that way, it’s fine by me. I move my hand to take a sip of this lovely tea. I thought he would fly away but instead he jumps even closer to me as if to say I’m not backing off here buddy.

The tea is a real winner definitely my favourite flavour so far and now top in my tea tasting league. The trouble is there is just one of each flavour in the box. I feel a warm glow as the tea reaches my tummy, I could probably challenge my friend sitting on the fence for reddest breast right now, I’m getting a tea infused chemically instigated hot flush, I laugh to myself as I think about comparing myself to the poor dear Robin. He’s looking at me in that inquisitive way that tells me he understands. He still hasn’t left, I’m laughing out loud, my neighbours must think I’m crazy. It’s a secret that only Robins sitting on fences free and wild will understand. He finally flies off, no doubt ready to go back to his nest and tell Mrs Robin about the crazy man in the blue jacket.

It’s one of those good days, I’ve been to work this morning , wearing my new maternity brace as I observed 3 blue light runs from soon to become ambulance drivers, it was great to be back, sitting in the van, blue lights and sirens on and getting through the traffic in rehersal for the real thing.

I’ve always marveled at the attitude these new ambulance drivers have and how they are so keen to help people when they are in need, yes angels drive amongst us too. The morning went so quickly , it was all good, the new developing instructor is doing fine. Most importantly for me was my back didn’t feel any problems, it was happy and so was I.

My goodness I really believe I can go back into ambulance training this another purpose in life that is a weapon to use against my cancer.

I’m going for a walk, going to clock up a few more km in my walk for prostate cancer uk. Ironically the sun has dipped behind the clouds that have suddenly appeared from nowhere, are we going to get some rain it’s been a dry winter so far. The fresh air in my lungs is good, it’s become windy too. I let the air rush into my lungs, imagining the fresh clear air cleaning me on the inside, each breath I take in is a breath of healing, each exhale is getting rid of the bad stuff that’s in me.

I walk, mindfully focusing on my breath, imagining the breath healing me as I walk. It’s like I’m walking in a way I’ve never done before. My purpose to clear my insides from all the bad stuff that’s clogging it up. I walk just the once around my estate, I feel tired but good, a feeling of accomplishment washes through me. I would raise my fist in triumph but the neighbours are out collecting their Tesco delivery, I decide to just leave it to a tame hi how you doing.

I am still on my virtual walk from Helsinki to lapland , the total journey is just over 1.3 million steps I’m a quarter of the way there. This is inspiring me to walk just a bit more, every step is another step towards my goal of reaching Lapland.

As I’m writing this now it’s been a good day, it’s hard to define days when you have cancer, it would be normal kind of day if I didn’t have cancer but as I have cancer it’s a good day. Pain has been low today, just a bit of the right leg feeling that it is no longer there. It’s strange I walk on two legs but can only feel one of them due to the nerve being so damaged, it’s all a bit wierd at times.

Tonight I’m a bit anxious, it’s the first time for two months that I’m not taking those 4 little brown pills that are saving my life, my doctor has taken me off them for three weeks to see if my fatigue changes so they can lower the dosage. The frightening thing is I’m now convinced the cancer will regroup and start spreading again she says that not how it works, I hope she’s right.

My anxiousnes is just to be expected, she warned me this will be another effect of coming off the tablets. I have to just keep seeing the positive in absolutely all of this. Keep being positive keep believing.

Thanks for reading

Thanks for your comments, keep sending them please.

Love Woody ❤️