Hope and living with my cancer

I’m always surprised at how the medication can have such a monumental change to my general well-being. Last 5 or 6 days has quite frankly been horrible, ive been pulling around this invisible weight surrounded by a dense fogginess that has clung on for days then one alteration of my medication and it’s like my eyes have reopened into a different world

Here we go again hold tight, the roller coaster is ready to rock and roll, or is it a merry go round😄 the difference is astounding, something happened mid-afternoon where I suddenly went from a low feeling of being cloudy cold and miserable in my head to a sudden change in the weather of my mind, the sun is shining gone are the grey skies and I can see Mr Blue Sky once more.

I’m feeling up for it again, these days are going to happen as a friend recently said I need a perverbial kick up the backside and he’s so right, thank you Trev. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a good kick to get going again.

Blue coat on and my new prostate cancer uk bobble hat that the people from Prostate Cancer UK sent me for raising a thousand pounds, I went for a walk. It was a short walk by recent standards, but it was a walk and I’m glad I got myself into some fresh air. Walking is my medicine for life, I walked just the 1.5 km around the estate. It’s was quiet most people were wrapped up inside I think. The birds seemed louder today I think at one point they were singing to me or at least that was what my imagination was hearing.

I walked past the house of many cats, sometimes there can be 7 or 8 of them just lazily hanging out mostly just yawning and dreamily watching the world go by. Today there was 4, one of them came miowing over to me to say hello, I put my hand out and it instantly just flopped over on to its back, such pure trust in a human being. I’m sure she had seen the blue coat man walking past her house on many occasions in the last few months. I gave her belly a rub and walked off, she just lazily laid there with her legs spread out.

There was a magpie in a tree, I saluted him and asked of his wife and family 😀 he nodded at me as if he understood what I was doing then he hopped along a bit and continued to wind the cats up. Chancing his luck he flew down into the road and squaked at them as if to say come and get me. The cats didn’t batter an eyelid I guess they had played out this game before with the whiley old magpie, maybe one day he won’t be quite as quick but untill then he is a brave warrior who no doubt goes back to the nest with his stories of bravado to tell his wife and children.

I really enjoyed my walk, today I felt like my spirit had been unleashed after being tied down for the past week. It felt like I was part of the world again and not imprisoned into this grey foggy cell I’d been in. It felt good to be breathing the cold fresh air into my lungs. I walked with a smile and my held held high, it’s good to be back again.

It’s late at night and the first time I’ve been wide awake for a long time, maybe it’s making up for all the extra hours of sleep I’ve been having recently. My room is so still and the feintrst sound always makes me think what made that. Every night I hear the feint banging as the two cats take it in turns to escape from their overnight prison of the living room, I believe Tilley is the main culprit, she manages to jump up at the handle and even though we tie the door shut at night she sometimes gets out and that’s the end of sleep for all the girls because the cats wont leave them alone once they’ve escaped.😄

Tomorrow is a new day, I’m lying here feeling pretty good about stuff, I feel my cancer is leaving me, don’t ask me how I know I just have this feeling deep inside, this feeling that it’s in retreat, I don’t feel the same anymore, my body is going back to normal again, is this wishful thinking or has the universe reached out and listened.

Something’s are difficult to explain, I know that when you have cancer you just know you have it because it speaks to you in so many ways, mine has gone silent,my bones have stopped creaking so much, my back is not burning in the same spot so much and my leg seems to be quiet.

Of course it could be wishful thinking and anyway what right do I have to survive cancer, but there is something growing in me now and it’s not called cancer it’s called hope.

I love the word hope to cherish a desire with anticipation is one meaning. Hope is what makes the world spin around every day, hope is what makes the sun rise and shower it’s warmth over us all and hope is the rain that nourishes everything on this planet to make everything including us grow, that’s my version of it.

You know as long as you have hope on your side then you’ve got a chance to do the extraordinary. The book I was reading called Radical emissions showed that hope and belief were all characteristics of survivors of cancer who suddenly without any medical explanation were cured of their illness. I love that a person has taken the time to write this book, has interviews with thousands of cancer survivors and discovered what they had in common. Thank you for writing this book it gives people like me hope.

Just what made that little old ant think he could move a rubber tree plant.

Anyone knows an ant can’t move a rubber tree plant

But he’s got high hopes he’s got high hopes, he’s got high apple pie in the sky hopes

What a song by Mr Frank Sinatra😄 sorry it just popped into my head and I want to share it.🐜

Tomorrow I will write a new page in my life story , the page will start with a few words a sentence a paragraph and before I know it another page is created. The page will start as soon as I wake up, as I open my eyes the page will start writing itself. That page will write my next part of life. Every single one of us starts with a blank page every day, no one writes the story just us, we are the only ones who can be the author of our own story.

We all have a choice what to write in our book, isn’t that what makes life so remarkable and prescious, none of us know what is going to be in our page each day, but what I do know for absolute sure is it’s my choice what I write each day in my book of life just as it is to every single person on the planet. If you want to change your life start by writing one line at a time.

Cancer does not write my book, I do, I’m the editor and tomorrow will be a page full of hope.

See you soon

Lots of love

Woody ❤️

Before I go I must ask if you would do me and the men of the world a massive kindness, as you know I’m raising money for Prostate Cancer Uk. 1 in 8 of us guys will get this horrible illness , even worse for some reason it affects black guys even worse.

If you are a bloke in your 50s onwards and you are experiencing sudden unusual back pains particularly in your lower back or you are developing unusual habits in the weeing department like getting up more frequently to go. Do yourself a favour guys and bang in your doctor’s door and ask for a PSA blood test. This disease can be controlled much much better if it’s identified in its early stages.

Please also share this information to any blokes you know, it could save yours or someone’s life.

Finally please make a donation to prostate cancer uk by clicking on the link below, thank you very much ❤️

https://runthemonthme.prostatecanceruk.org/fundraising/keith-woodwards-run-the-month-challenge-for-p