One day at a time

Today I spent the whole day out on the road involved in ambulance training in the job I love. Yes it’s true, back in the hot seat, helping students to become ambulance drivers. I won’t get too carried away , today was a real test, would my back hold up to the task, would the tumours allow me to sit there? I’m glad to say it passed and I feel good about it, I have a right to feel good about it don’t you think?😄

I find it remarkable thinking back through the last few months just how lucky I am to be in this situation I am today. The prognosis a few months ago was not great but you know you just got to ignore prognosis and just get on with it as best you can. You can’t give in to prognosisis. 4 months ago I was being wheeled into a cancer ward, my thoughts then were, would I ever come out, is this it. At the time I didn’t know much about cancer.

I have always, from day one, ever since cancer walked down my street and knocked on my door and became an uninvited guest not into just my life but also to my wife and children I have chosen to fight this cancer and not to give in no matter what the prognosis. Ive made the decision, I’ve chosen, I’ve got the greatest gift that all human beings possess and that’s free will, the power to chose how I think, no other living species on this planet possesses free will.

Cancer can not stop me from thinking how I want to think, cancer can’t take away my will to keep on living as if I’m not unwell. If you was to meet me now you would say there is nothing wrong with me , you might see a slight limp, but I’m doing my best to lose that, you might here my bones creaking and making cracking noises if your close enough, but apart from that you would assume I’m perfectly healthy.

The way you think is the way you are

The way you think is the way you are, I’m not sure who came up with that piece of wisdom, but I believe it’s really true. I’ve often on this blog extolled the virtues of how we think creates our reality. It’s got to be true. If you have cancer you can’t just think I have cancer, you have to think I have a perfectly good healthy body and focus on what’s good about you of which there is plenty.

Focus on the good stuff makes you what you are , focus on the bad stuff equally makes you what you are each one controls your behaviour. I know that is true, so far in my cancer adventure I’ve seen good and bad days and I know that they are completly controlled by my thinking on any given day.

I’m lying in bed it’s 10pm feeling happily exhausted, I’ve worked a full day, of that I’m grateful, I’m exhausted but not pained. I can cope with exhausted very well when there is a happy attached to it. I have a real sense of achievement glowing out of me (or is that a hot flush😄) . Small things like going to work are major achievements in the world of an advanced cancer patient.

Ive had a great day, the weather was just beautiful, I had to literally chisel the ice off my car first thing, even my door was frozen, I loved clearing the ice off my car, what used to be a rare pain is now a pleasure , clearing the ice means I’m back in the game. It was clear and sunny all day, the drive to work is strange now, I drive like I have cancer, what else can bother me anymore, I can’t get upset by mere drivers not when I’ve got cancer.

Cancer has taken away all my frustration, my anger and any other negative feeling I may have once had. That’s strange right, well that’s the way it is for me, my blog is written straight from my heart, it’s true. I don’t know how but cancer has allowed me to see life in its purest form, gone is the shroud of unhappiness gone is the blanket of fear, my mind is crystal clear my thoughts are honest there is nothing diluting them.

You’ve probably noticed that I look at life differently, I chose to do that and this is the result. I could of curled up on the couch and just deteriorated. Some people chose to do that too, I can’t comment on their reasons perhaps even someone like that is reading this blog, you just cant accept that, youve got to get up and chose life. If you are reading this and struggling then message me, we can have a chat about it.

I’ve always said I wrote this blog in the hope that it helps others to see a different side of dealing with this and thinking about it. It doesn’t mean I’m not scared of course I am bloody scared, but at the same time I’m getting a deep feeling that it’s going to be allright, I can’t explain that feeling it’s just there, perhaps that the universe saying Woody we’ve got your back here son just keep on living the way that you are and we will take care of it. Who knows, the power of belief is immense and I do believe.

Thank you universe 🙏

Everyday in everyway I’m getting stronger and stronger

Everyday in everyway I’m getting better and better

Everyday in everyway my cancer is getting weaker and weaker

Goodnight

Woody ❤️