Swollen ankles and a ten out of ten nurse.

❤️🙏

Just go back from the doctor’s to give them some blood in exchange from my very Chardonnay coloured wee. I think that’s a good colour, it’s certainly not a bad wine🤣I would have been a bit concerned had I brought in a merlot coloured sample 🍷

The nurse remembered me from a month ago as the first thing she said to me as she was about to stick the needle in was “I hope you give me a better score than 9 I was a bit disappointed with myself and needed to up my game.”

 Well I had to score her a perfect 10 , which to be fair would not have been a lie. Well done nurse I didn’t even know the needle was in😄

10/10 ❤️

Stopped for a Costa coffee to take away and now I’m going to put all my energy into editing my book, Calming your anxious mind to pass your driving test. Shameless plug there😄

Be back later….

It’s now the middle of the night and I’m struggling to sleep it’s not because I’m not tired, it’s because my ankles have swelled up to nearly twice their normal size and it looks like I’ve put the wrong pair of feet on 

I’ve got a small chair, this is the one the NHS kindly sent me home with, it’s supposed to be for me to sit on in the shower, well I’m pleased that I’m perfectly capable of having a shower the usual way, I’m hoping that it will continue that way. But this little chair makes a kind of uncomfortable foot rest so I can raise my legs in order to let the swelling go down and it’s worked although it’s not very comfortable .

The things we have to put up with when you have cancer, to be honest it’s like an ongoing battle, balancing one treatment with another. Things could be far far worse, so I’m not complaining about a pair of swelling ankles.

Well something else that is worth mentioning is another what I find funny side effect to my meds is flatulance. Ive always found farts funny, and I can never keep a straight face. Now I’ve got the ultimate excuse. I’ve got more wind in me than the average hot air ballon🎈the problem is I have very little control when it comes out.

My kids are used to it , although walking into my daughter’s room farting like a brass band unknowing that she’s live on the phone talking to a mate. Well I thought it was funny.😄

The brass section of my farting orchestra also went into full crescendo mode whilst shopping in Morrisons in the bread ailse as an elderly lady walked towards me. Luckily I had a mask on as it hid my true expression which was one of pure childish glee 😄. Look I’ve got fucking cancer (sorry mum) I can be allowed the odd laugh at someone else’s expense, can’t I?

I completed day 4 of the Samaritans challenge. I managed 1.4km, to think before this all happened I could have done that in about 10 mins, instead now it’s taking about 30 minutes or so if I’m pushing it.💚

The group, jogging 30 km in November has about 5000 members and their stories are inspirational, we are all supporting each other. Many if the group have used the Samaritans and would not be here today if it wasn’t for that phone call. A lot of them have mental health issues and to go out of the house and run or walk a km is a fantastic achievement for many.  💚

The stories people are sharing are incredible and sad and motivating, I’m incredibly proud to be a part of it.♥️

Last count I’ve raised £664  so grateful to everyone who has contributed to this great cause.👏👏👏

Tomorrow I have another consultation with the Italian doctor, fingers crossed my blood test results will all be favourable especially my PSA level. 🛐 I need to ask a few questions like why does my right leg keep going numb., It’s worrying, but at the moment all of this stuff is out of my control and I’ve always said you can’t do much about stuff if it’s out of your control, I could worry about it or just ignore it. 

Well I can’t lay like this all night it’s very uncomfortable so I am going to just take the table away , two hours is more that enough.😩 The ankles have gone down a bit from what they were before. 

Just had one of thses hot flushes caused by the hormone therapy, it’s a strange feeling. They seem to be getting more frequently, it’s my menopause in action. Oh my god, I would never have believed I would be lying awake late at night with my feet on a small chair balancing on my bed, talking about my raging hormones to a bunch of complete strangers, that’s life for me right now😄

Once more thank you for reading this blog , if it helps one person who is going through this stuff then that’s brilliant.👌 I know from some messages I’ve received that it does help. I know it’s helpful to me to get my thoughts out, perhaps more people should consider a blog or journal.📙

Last thing before I go I need some kind thoughts for Berty our little Lion headed indoor rabbit, he’s not so well, the kids are upset , let’s hope the rabbit univers has got something to say about our Berty

Berty and Willow our two indoor rabbits ❤️

Good night and don’t forget to be positive kind and grateful to as many people as you can, you can change the world and make a difference.🙏

Night night ❤️