New year New me living with my cancer
There was a point a few months ago when I found out I had cancer that I was wondering if I would see the New year in, you know it’s strange but when you are first told you have cancer you just don’t know anything. I’m sorry Mr Woodward you have cancer , what the hell. Well it took a good few weeks before I was able to ask the question you know like from a movie , is it bad doc, how long have I got doc? I never thought I would have to ask those type of questions at this time of my life. I was relieved when the answer came back in years rather than months or weeks , the truth is no body knows .
I suppose nobody wants to know either. Let’s just let the grim reaper be a surprise rather than a pre planned event in Google calendar Imagine putting that in as a reminder, ok Google, set reminder, remind me to meet the grim reaper
Well that’s done except I didn’t put a time or date in it but I’m hoping he doesn’t show up at 8am tomorrow morning, I’ll just pretend I’m not in. 😄
As I’ve said in my previous blog the new year will bring a big change for me, yes I have cancer, I can’t change that quickly, it’s a part of me now, but I’ll do my best everyday to make sure that my cancer finds it very very uncomfortable living in my body and generally begin the slow process of starving it to death before it has the chance of starving me.✖️
All the research shows that cancer loves me to have a suger rich diet🍬🍧 , it loves me to eat lots of red meat🍠 and dairy🥛. It loves me to sit around all day feeling sorry for myself and it loves me to think negatively and it loves nothing more than for me to hit the booze🍺 and drown out my sorrows. All of those things it’s going to be starved of and then we’ll see how it likes that.😄
You have to believe that you can win, you have to know that that you can win and I’m good with both of those things. Stage 4 is just a word and a number. My Gleason score is 9 out of 10, they are just numbers. As I’ve said so many times before in these blogs, if one person can beat the odds then so can I and that’s all one has to do just keep believing and the universe will do the rest.🙏
Tonite I’m going bowling to see the new year in with my family and some friends and more importantly to say goodby to the old. I’ve got no regrets about this year. This year has taught me a lesson or two that’s for sure. You just can’t get too complacent in life , you have to look after yourself in life and you just can’t take things for granted. You’ve got to treasure life.
The bad stuff will happen but that’s life , it means you are alive don’t give in to the bad stuff or it will literally eat you alive. ♥️
My last year has been tough, I’ve learned so much and that’s going to make me a stronger person now than ever before. I’m listening to the rain and wind outside now as I write this, a smile comes on my face as I think about putting on my not so new bright blue jacket and going for a walk with nature, something I would have never dreamed of doing before.
Everyday in every way I’m getting stronger and stronger
Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better
Everyday in every way my cancer is getting weaker and weaker.
My walk was lovely, feeling the mild wind on my face was beautiful the rain was refreshing but it soon stopped, clouds were racing in the sky like they had to be somewhere very soon. As they were breaking I got an occasional glimpse of the sun, there is very little warmth left in the december sun but it’s there and just reminds me that the warm days won’t be long. It’s actually quite warm and my coat is making me sweat or is it another hormone flush yes its that. They are more frequent and stronger, I just feel thankfull for the hot flushes as they are driving the cancer cells back in some way. I walk for 3km this morning loving every bit of it and that was because I was accompanied by my two wonderful daughters.☺️We walked twice around the estate , both of them competing for my attention, it was kind of funny, I love them so much.♥️
It’s now 10.30 pm , I didn’t go bowling tonight, I don’t know if it was the right thing or not, I’ve been to the hospital today to get my next month’s supply of drugs, again sitting in the chemo ward watching people that are probably in a far worse situation than me, I’m glad I didn’t chose chemo.
When I got home and saw the news 189 000 new covid cases and 200 dead. Jesus when did it start getting this bad, I’ve been avoiding the news lately. I make the decision not to go tonight , I’m immuno suppressed and going to a bowling party on news years Eve in a pandemic just seems like a bad idea to me, you have to ask when will this end. The girls have gone, I hope they are having a wonderful time, I wish I was there now, but it’s too late, and it’s the wrong thing for me right now, plus I’m so crap at bowling, that’s the real reason why I’m not there tonight.😄🎳
So is this is going to turn in to lonely man, feeling sorry for himself , Poor’s a few large ones and then bleeds his heart out , well not tonight, I’m not feeling bad, just a bit annoyed that covid has taken another night away from me but I guess there will be plenty more when it all goes away.
So here I am watching some stupid movie on prime I won’t even say what it’s about except that it’s just ridiculous and I’m bored, time for a beer, non alcohol of course. I’m thinking should I have gone out, what would you do if you was me. I feel I’ve let the girls down, I would love to be with them but …..I this is just how it is when you in a place where covid would not be welcome right now in my life.✖️
I’ve never been a fan of new years eve anyway , false promises we make to ourselves when we are drunk, I wonder how many of those promises come true once a few days into january.🍺
My promises will be kept, I’m going to do what I’ve said. I’m looking forward to new year , it’s a new start, a new me. This year is going to be interesting that’s for sure. I’m not planning too far ahead, not for any reason other than I’ve spent my whole life planning ahead instead of enjoying the present. How many of us plan ahead, set goals but never reach those goals, there is a simple answer, we often just ignore the steps and focus on the goal and then give up.
I’m celebrating life all be it on my own tonight I raise my non alcoholic beer and say cheers to all of you reading my blog, life is good so long as you keep thinking it’s good, you know the moment you think it’s bad it becomes bad.
So I’m toasting
Good thoughts
Loving family
Friends that really are friends
Life itself and long may you live in this amazing world
Don’t regret a single thing it’s all experience that can’t be changed
Learn something new every day
Keep smiling
Keep believing
Keep grateful
And stay positive
