It’s been a good week

Following on from the monopoly board challenge that was a week ago tomorrow, wow where has that gone, 6 days in the blink of an eye. Life rolls on, and the train gets faster and faster as it goes past the stations of life, and now I know there is no time to waste so I tune in to every moment every sight sound and feeling are there to be treasured and loved not wished away as I was so often guilty of doing in life before cancer came along. I’ve brought a first class ticket and I’m ready for the ride.

I’ve fully recovered from the walk, it took me untill about midweek to say my body had decided it had enough of feeling sorry for itself. My feet which had swelled so much during the walk that I had to prise my boots off before collapsing into a coma like sleep totally devoid of dreams, my head hit the pillow and the lights went out that Saturday evening were the last part of my body to return to normal, having size 10 hobbit feet crammed in to size 8 boots is no fun I can tell you, and two dark black bruised toes were evidence of that which are just fading now as if the memory of the last few hours of that pain fades away, if I try ,and close my eyes I can still feel it. But it was so worth it. It was win win, Prostate cancer UK gained another £4000 pounds and I gained a feeling of self belief that I can do this and win more battles that Ive yet but I know that they are coming just like a dark moody sky before a summer storm hits.

This week has seen me working away from home and loving every second of it, I’ve even been setting my alarm early so as not to miss the birds singing in the morning, in fact I’ve been really blessed as my hotel room has an abundance of trees outside the window so I’ve been leaving the window open so as to get the full effect of the morning chorus. There also appears to be an owl that’s nearby as he makes that magical enchanted sound that only owls make in the evening time as he sets off searching for his evening meal. There is also a nightingale I think close by which I think has the most purest sound of all the birds. I’m lucky I’m getting seranaded at both ends of the day . I don’t think there is a nicer sound to wake up too, especially as the warmer days are starting to arrive now the birds are louder than in the depths of darkest winter when their song although fabulous is not quite the same

I watched a playful squirrel jumping around in the tree opposite my room, he’s been there every evening I’m sure he could see me as I sat in my travel lodge chair with a nice cup of tea just smiling at his carefree antics. He runs like an acrobatic circus performer as he throws himself with no fear from tree to tree. I’m sure he’s showing off to me, I half expect him to stop and bow towards me as his performance ends and then he runs off into the night. These things I might not have noticed in such clarity as I used to before the cancer diagnosis, sure I would have loved the bird song but its now it’s painted in Dolby Atmos surround sound and the squirrel, I might have watched him for a few seconds had a smile and that was that, now I’m watching him like Its the first time I’ve seen a squirrel and actually if I put it that way it is the first time I’ve seen a squirrel. It’s better than watching TV , I did briefly catch about 20 minutes of EastEnders and wished I hadn’t, I find that programme depressing and it was the same as the last episode I watched about 5 years ago except the cast have all got older. It’s funny when you haven’t seen a soap for so long just how old people look.

Today on our ambulance training passing some beautiful views of the Norfolk country side the fields painted bright yellow by the rape seed flowers dazzeling in the sunlight, we drove to a lovely seaside town of Cromer and had a lunch stop in a peaceful little cafe that was perched on the sea front the only sounds were the gulls frantically fighting for scraps of food and the waves gently lapping up against the stoney shore. It was one of those days , the sea was calm and the air was warm , about perfect I would say. I spent a few moments just drinking in the scene, I took some long sips ones that need to be savoured and remembered for a snooze on a rainy day for the future.

It’s Friday night, I’m lying in bed typing and smiling because it has been a good week in many ways, my cancer has been very good to me, I’ve had one or two conversations with it and I think it knows where we stand, I’ve stopped fighting it, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped fighting for life, I’ve just stopped wasting important energy on negative thoughts about it. In fact it’s being playing second fiddle now in my life, the band keeps playing but cancer can hardly be heard. It’s good because I know that the only way it’s going to leave me is by me just getting on with life and not living for cancer. I’ve changed my diet, I exercise more ,although that can be improved, I meditate and I have made peace with any lingering negativite emotions from the past that may have been hanging on. This is my way of cleansing myself of cancer I’m changing my whole way of being , I’m not the same body that I was when cancer first discovered it had a place to live in me and I unknowingly opened the door to let it in, my hope is it won’t like this new home and will in time decide to just leave me be. Will I be one of the lucky ones , I don’t know the answer to that yet, but what I do know is that I’m doing my best to become one of the unexplained remissions if the universe wills it.

Life is so fragile, it is a wonder, and yet so many of us can’t wait to use it up. We all have so many days, so many ticks of the clock of life and so many beats of our hearts. Take it from me don’t wish any of those moments away, don’t waste time , time is more precious than any thing you can buy with money , its priceless, no amount of money will buy you more time. Smile laugh and listen and watch life , don’t miss out on what’s going on right in front of you.

I’ve always loved this line from Kung Fu Panda because it’s so true

Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift that is why it’s called the present.

Love Woody ❤️