The fear of cancer
Someone said to me recently ” hey Woody aren’t you scared of cancer”
My answer is not straight forward because there just is no yes or no answer no black or white. I’ve spent a long time being scared, no scared is not the right word I’ve been terrified of cancer, ever since I saw my father in law pass away with cancer of the esophagus, I won’t go into any detail out of respect to my wife and also that he treated me as a son. It terrified me and I’ve spent a long time worrying over it and never got over seeing him like he was at the end.
Now I have cancer, prostate cancer, my doctor’s says it’s the kindest cancer if that’s the right word to use, it doesn’t feel so kind to me. The fear has gone now I’ve got it. It seems strange now I don’t have that fear, the fear of waiting for it. Am I scared of it, yes of course I am, but I don’t have the time to be terrified of it anymore.
It is what it is!
It is what it is, I’ve used that expression a lot since my own diagnosis. It is what it is, there’s no point glossing over it or hiding the truth from myself. I spent the first couple of months with my head firmly buried in the sand, just pretending it hadn’t happened. Now I know the truth, I know the worse, I know the full details and what I’m fighting and how much against the odds it is that I will win the fight or at least that’s what statistics show. How often does the underdog win well this one certainly is planning on doing just that.
Ive lost the fear because now I’m doing something about it. I’m not rolling over I’m fighting for my life and anyone reading this you’ve got to do the same. There is no such thing as fear anymore, the fear left me months ago. I’m scared but not fearful they are two different things I think.
I’m working out how to beat this, I’m fighting for my children and my wife. You can’t beat something that you are terrified of. Cancer is a horrible word and people struggle to deal with it. The word holds such powerful emotions, most of us know someone who has it or has died of it. The world is full of it and yet it is the most taboo word on the planet.
You get cancer but the sun still shines the stars come out at night and the world still carries on turning, the birds sing every day. You can’t let cancer stop your world from turning, you can’t give in to it or the fear it carries like some dark cloak that covers you if you allow it too. The truth is you have to carry on as much as possible as if it’s not there. That’s not easy. I’ve got nerve damage in my spine but I’ll keep on walking for as long as I can. If I end up in a wheelchair I’ll keep rolling as long as I can. You can’t stop you have to keep moving.
The fear of cancer is almost worst than having it. Fear plays tricks on you, distorts your mind and your thinking, to fear something is the same as having it in so many ways. The thought of something often brings physiological reactions to it. Don’t fear it, live with it and it won’t hurt you so bad. Fight it but don’t hate it you are only hating yourself.
Cancer can bring positives into your life. You just need to open up your eyes and doors you never even knew existed will open up and welcome you in. Keep searching for goodness don’t fall into cancers dark out of despair, I nearly did but I got lucky something came along I grabbed the lifeline and hauled myself back out. There is always positives to be found if you follow some simple rules.
Don’t try and search for cures, I fully believe cures are inside of you already. You have the ability to heal yourself you just have to fully believe in that. The medications will only work once you fully believe in them. I’m not saying don’t take medication by the way but to just put your faith in it working and it will work better. The search for a cure online is a bumpy ride at best, you will read an article that tells you this is the ultimate cure for a certain cancer and then the next search you will read an article that tells you the complete opposite. The problem when you search for cancer cures is their are thousands of things that will claim to cure cancer and maybe some will but it enevitably ends with you coming across a salesman selling you snake oil.
Dont follow forums that are full of negativity, they don’t help they just drag you in and under. There a lot of people who have cancer that are made worse by some forums, not all. My experience when I was first diagnosed was to jump onto as many forums as I could find. I left most because they made me confused frightened and depressed.
look for positive cancer stories they are all over the internet. There are stories of people who have gone from having months left to live to total remission. Search for them they will make you feel so much better, I’ve always said if one person can beat advanced prostate cancer then there is no reason I can’t do the same.
Dont believe the doctor’s if they tell you that you have no chance of survival it simply is not true, you are just as likely to survive if you believe enough. No one can say for sure and doctors are often proved completly wrong. Most doctors in the UK won’t say that you are terminal but it’s common in other countries and that it obvious from cancer forums.
You are not your diagnosis
You are most definitely not your diagnosis, you are you, cancer is not you. I have found I cope so much better when I stop thinking of me as just a Prostate cancer victim. I’m alive, I’m aware I have it but it does not have me. The more normal you can make your life the less the grip cancer has over you. You want it to let go right, it will only let go when you let it go. Keep doing stuff. For me walking is something that helps me to leave the cancer at home. Search for a purpose, find something you didn’t do before. Maybe start a new hobby, learn to play an instrument or to speak a language. Keep a purpose hold on to it and don’t let it go, become a thriver not just a survivor.
If you are interested in joining my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/3165326283680538/?ref=share
The group is set up to help like minded people who are searching for some positivity in this made world of living with cancer. I believe it can grow into something…
Love Woody ❤️
In just under a month I will be walking with a group of friends to raise money for prostate cancer research please take a look at my just giving page
Woody, in short, this is the best article Ive read re cancer and the fear of cancer. You have put my mind into words….word for word. Thank you for this