What is your purpose

Just been out for a short walk just before storm Eunice announced her arrival. The wind was starting to howl by the time I reached home. I stopped for a while to marvel in awe in a kind of childlike wonder at the power of the storm. I watched trees dancing in the wind, the telegraph wires whistling a tune, I felt the full force of mother nature’s power hitting me full on. Its another incredible feeling to be thankful to be alive to be able to experience the sheer magnificence of the universe. Of course I also understand the devastation it may have caused my garden is pretty much in pieces but at least it can be rebuilt, human lives can’t.

I want to share another fundraising event I’m really honoured to be a part of. A very good friend of mine each year holds an event to raise money for Prostate Cancer uk, last year they walked the bridges of London, this year the plan is to walk the streets of the monopoly board. This is I believe a long walk around 30 km or so I believe. I’m honoured that he has asked me to take part and even named the event walking for Woody in fact here is the link to the event. Anyone can join in. I will be giving more details out as I get them. The date is April 30th

https://www.justgiving.com/team/Walkingwithwoody?invite=true

I will walk as much of it as I can, I’m not sure how these bones of mine will hold out but one thing for sure is I will start and walk as far as I can and then meet up towards the end. My plan from now is to walk 6km a day then increase it by a few km each week hopefully by the time we get to April 30th I will be fit enough to do at least half, I must not forget I’ve still got a couple of fractures in my back and tumours in my pelvis but I will give it my very best.

Purpose

As a cancer sufferer I believe we need a purpose. We need something that we can hold on to when the going gets tough. A purpose gives us strength. I stopped just sitting down all day feeling very sorry for myself once I realised that when I found a purpose I could get up open the door and walk out. Of course my main purpose has always been to be there for my two daughters and help my incredible wife to support them. But you see, when they are out of the house and back to school and work it gets lonely and my mind starts to wander and at times it wanders down paths that I don’t want it to go. You know those dense over grown paths with thorny bramble bushes that grow darker and darker the more you try to penetrate them well that is what my mind does. Some of those thorny pathways have no light at the end. A purpose is like a flashlight that lightens up the path and shows the way through. A purpose gives strength and banishes doubt and weakness and gives belief and hope where it appears there is none. A purpose is the guide the shepherd and the universe holding its hand out and showing the way. A purpose turns the light on and lifts you to levels you didn’t think were achievable. If you are reading this and think that all hope is gone, then stop, do what I do, find a purpose, look for something to distract you from fear pain and worry. Join a group, raise some money. Hell message me on here and we can arrange regular talks, but what ever you do just don’t give up. I feel invigorated now once again with the purpose of raising money and awareness of this horrible disease.

I can still remember back in October when I was really struggling to make sence of what had suddenly and so violently happened to my life. I don’t use the term violently lightly because for one moment I was fine the next a maelstrom of emotions had suddenly set themselves free on me. A tornado of events and a hurricane of thoughts all smashed into me over the course of a few weeks (apologies for the constant wind analogies it seems appropriate today) when it finally sank in properly that I have advanced cancer. I was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, I had been out of hospital for quite some time and I was in a cancer limbo, what do I do now?

Walking for the Samaritans

The answer came to me, I saw a Facebook advert to jog 30 km in the month of September and raise money for the Samaritans, it’s strange because at the time right before this ad popped up on my feed I was thinking of how to get into raising money, it’s something I’ve never done before, where do I begin finding out about this stuff, a minute later and the answer was delivered. I’m 100% convinced the universe was listening to me that day and showed me the way to get into fund raising. I hadn’t been out of the house for weeks, I was just sitting at home just me my cancer and Google a terrible cocktail of potential emotional meltdown, at this time I was often just breaking down into tears for no reason, nothing triggered it, it just happened randomly, once in Morrisons whilst I was shopping, I hid it well.

I signed up for the Samaritans cause and there it was my purpose to get off my backside and do something. That purpose introduced me to walking, I fell in love with just walking, it’s easy just put one foot in front of the other and away you go. I raised over £1100 in that November challenge. I joined a facebook group and got caught up in the camaraderie of the group, it was amazing, people who hadn’t been out the house for weeks or months, some even years, they had all found a common purpose and we shared stories and motivated each other to keep going. It’s easy for us to say what’s stopping someone from going out and facing the world, the simple truth is no one knows the intricacies of a person’s mind, what they feel and think. For some taking on this challenge was no less than Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgays historical conquering of Everest. We have all got our own Everest’s to conquer. A group of just under 5000 people inspired me and apparently I inspired them, we found a purpose opened our front doors and stepped out into the big wide world which welcomed me and them with open arms. This is how powerful a group with a common purpose could become. I read stories that were tragic inspiring wonderful and human, pure and raw. I was hooked, I will continue to seek out these extra purposes, I will look at ways to help others find theirs if I can.

Having cancer in my life has opened my eyes, at first it hit me like a bulldozer demolishing a house, relentless , non stop demolition, now it’s taken my hand and lead me into a new purpose of my life, I sincerely hope if you are reading this and you are struggling that you can find that purpose that will open your door and lead you and guide you into something special. It’s out there, you’ve just got to let the universe find it for you. Open your mind and your heart and it will find you when your least expecting it to. Tell yourself what your purpose is what do you want to do, is it to meet people is is to raise money join a group keep telling yourself what you want and it will come to you.

Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it”
Buddha