Smiling at cancer
I’ll start by saying my wordpress.com site has been hacked and with luck I managed to save all but two of my blog posts. Who would hack a cancer blog, I could of done without that. Nevermind on the positive side this evening I’ve built a brand new site which Ive built and proud of. This blog was going to be a rewrite of my last one but as in all of my posts it’s written from the thoughts I have in my mind at the time of writing, these are not the same as a few days ago so I’ll confine those two blog posts as lost forever 😥
Moving on swiftly because stuff like that doesn’t matter anymore there is always something positive to come out of it. I now have a much better blog site than I did before, so thank you Mr hacket or Mrs or … whatever you are, you have done me a favour.
I did promise that I would try to feature a good news story in each of my posts from now on as long as it’s possible, there is always good news you just have to go out and search for it a little bit harder, it’s often hidden behind all the negative stuff. The good news I managed to find for today’s post is something that’s close to home for me in more ways than one. Firstly it concerns a lady with cancer and secondly it concerns my life long favourite football team Crystal Palace, come on you eagles.
The story occured a few weeks ago in an FA Cup match between Crystal Palace and Hartlepool Utd. It’s one of those stories where football and humanity come together and make a massive difference. Football is often portrayed with a lot of negativity and some of it is justified, but every so often something happens that just makes you feel dam proud of your team and football in general and the human race.
Gemma Lee the Hartlepool managers wife is suffering from a rare brain cancer, she has been on a treatment that costs her £5000 a month to keep her alive. Thanks to the fans and the club who had a proverbial whip round before the game and managed to fund Gemmas just giving page to over £60 000 with hundreds of messages and donations from Palace fans and inspired by this the wider football family opened its arms and joined in. The total as I write this stands at £85 000. Good luck Gemma
I’ve also put her link to her just giving page in case any of you fantastic people would like to help Gemma, take a look at the beautiful messages from the football fans it really is heart warming to see such goodness going on.
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/warriorgl365?utm_term=YwE29m7rE
I got quite emotional reading those messages. The world is full of amazing people. Amazing people don’t always make headlines, bad people do with very little effort.
I’ve been thinking, oh no you say Woody’s got his thinking head on again 😀 I got to thinking about stuf I do that keeps me positive and above all believing for a good outcome to this journey I find myself unwittingly embarked upon. September the 15th was the day that all normal things in my life were turned inside out and upside down. I discovered I had cancer. A few weeks later my life altered drastically when the diagnosis of advanced metastatic prostate cancer was announced by a lovely doctor who obviously wanted to be anywhere else but in that room with me delivering this prognosis. I felt sorry for her despite my obvious suffering and struggle to comprehend it all. I bow to these people, the doctor’s and nurses that constantly deal with these difficult situations both for themselves and their patients, it must have an affect on them too. It took about two months to sink in and finally look up the words metastatic cancer.
Despite the obvious life change that has happened, another change has happened which is one that I’m actually grateful for. Cancer has given me an appreciation of life, that precious commodity that untill it’s threatened we tend to just take for granted that life will always be with us, or at least I did. I realise now what a precious thing life is. The abity to breathe is incredible. I often just sit and admire what my body is doing, all of those complex miracles that allow trillions of cells to work in harmony to keep me breathing. I don’t take for granted that I will always be breathing, one day I will not, as will every single living thing that makes up this complex planet we live on. As a human being we have the marvelous gift of consciousness, we can chose what we do with that consciousness. Most of our fellow inhabitants of this planet have built in programmes to respond to any given situation. No animal on this planet can sit and marvel at its breathing or its surroundings. That gift is something I now use to the maximum. Cancer has given me that gift even though it was always there, cancer has opened up my eyes and my brain in fact my entire body to be thankful for the gift of life. I feel honoured to have been given this gift and will use it carefully and respectfully untill I no longer can.
It’s raining outside, the rain is falling gently and silently. This life giving liquid that keeps our planet alive. The very thing we often moan about is the thing that keeps our amazing bodies and all of there cellular marvels from seizing up like a car without oil. I sit and watch the rain drops playfully chasing each other down my window. I smile, the pure miracle that mother nature refreshes her planet with and we moan at it 😄
The word cancer is associated with death and suffering and pain. I chose now to see it another way. It’s my choice to say what if my cancer was just a wake up call. What if I chose now to accept this with gratitude rather than hate filled resentment. My body was not being managed well by me, I ate poorly and sat on my arse all day never contemplating what the lack of movement and poor diet was doing to me, I rarely drank enough water, all of these things combined to give me cancer. Had I not got this disease I would have got something else, perhaps with a much shorter life span. The truth is 5 months since that day where my life changed for ever I am now fitter, I’m now more powerful in spirit not just in body and my eyes are fully awake to life.
The rain is still falling, my breathing is still breathing. I smile yet again, I have been given a gift. The gift of life. I’m going for a walk soon. No music in my ears just the music of life. The birds always sing loudest as the rain stops, I wonder if they are thanking the rain for the life it gives them. The sun is peeking through the clouds, I say hello to it. I smile, wondering what others may think about this strange man in his bright blue not so new jacket lifting his head to the sky and shouting hello. I don’t care. The rain is gently touching my face and head, it’s a heavenly massage from the universe. I smile again. I smile more with cancer than I ever did with out it. I smile at a couple of people who pass me. Most smile back, I think most of us secretly love a smile from someone, a complete stranger , perhaps weve become to self conscious about smiling. The grass is so green, it’s almost as it changes colour as it rains. The green becomes more greener. Not many of us humans about this morning, I walk alone, thankful for the gift of walking. I smile once again at life
“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” — Yoda
Take care
Love Woody ♥️
