I have cancer, cancer does not have me
My first day back at work for a while, today is the day I have decided yes I have cancer but it sure as hell does not have me.
I thank my cancer for allowing me the simple pleasure of going to work, I’ve been fortunate in my life to love the jobs I’ve done, from bar work in the Mediterranean . driving tractors on a kibbutz, holiday repping for 10 years and the last 18 years teaching people to drive various types of vehicles. The fear a few months ago was that I would have to give up the ambulance driver training completely was terrifying, I don’t feel this way any more.
The drive in to work was one I will never forget , the heavens put on a spectacular show from the start to finish of the 30 minute journey, traffic was light which was great but the sunrise was just something special. Having de-iced my car I set off , in front of me the sky was a deep orange as if a distant fire was reflecting upwards.
The colours changed throughout the journey at one point the sky was painted pure gold, it went from gold to deep shades of red. Just as arrived at the training venue the sun was just rising through the trees ahead of me. I just wanted to get out and marvel at the wonder of the universe, to just watch the sunrise unfold and to think of nothing else in that moment in time but to be grateful for having the chance to see it.
Living with cancer changes your perspectives on life and it’s no bad thing to have them changed, I love work but it will never take the stage in life it once did. Everything is important but for far different reasons which is hard to explain. I’m grateful that my cancer has relented enough to allow me to drive and to allow me to be important in some way.
You have to have a purpose
I’ve said this a few times in my blogs now but you just have to have a purpose in life. It does not just take having cancer to come along knock you on the head and say ere Woody where’s you purpose. Work can be a purpose but don’t live to work just work to live.
Being involved in ambulance training today was a great feeling, it was only a half day in a classroom setting but don’t get me wrong, that means so much, just to be among it and helping a new instructor through his training and meeting a lovely group of keen students who are obviously in it for the very right reasons.
Keeping in touch with friends and meeting up with a very good friend of mine in the driver training industry and putting the world to rights was another part of my day yesterday, thanks. Graham as always it was s real pleasure to meet up.
The real purpose
The real purpose in my life now is my children and seeing them through life for as long as I’m able. My two girls are doing exceptionally well at the school they go to and have both received commendations on their work and progress tests they recently done. Every dad is proud of his kids, but when the thought comes along that you may not have as much time on this earth as you originally might have wishes for you’ve just got to sit up and take notice of the stuff they do, something I know in the past I’ve been very guilty of not foing, blaming it on work. Work is great but it doesn’t take over my evening times with my kids like before.
Last night I watched Ella playing her favourite game of Fortnite on PS4 and even had a go my self much to her embarrassment I was killed rather quickly but a rookie, head held in shame I walked into my youngest daughter’s room and together we fell asleep with me attempting to read about more adventures with the rat the mole and Mr toad in the wind in the willows, I guess I was more tired than I thought.
