Living with my cancer & the longest walk ever

Last couple of days have been reasonably good, a lot wasn’t happening for a while and then my wife draughted up an email to my oncology doctor and all of a sudden stuff started to happen I think the email literally chucked the cat straight at the poor old pigeons. I have to say that different departments in the hospital have suddenly gone on an all out assault on my phone, getting stuff done that should have already been done. Anyone who knows me or reads these blogs will know I love our NHS but it’s the individuals who work in the hospital that make or break your impression, sadly I can only come to the conclusion that I really don’t trust my doctor, she needs constant reminders about things and that is not down to me. I’ll leave it there, because I don’t to want paint our amazing NHS in a negative colour.

Today I decided to get out and just go for a walk , I decided to turn right where I usually turn left and then left down an unknown pathway. It’s was just after 10am when I shut my front door and set off on what was to become an epic journey. Well perhaps epic is bigging it up a bit, there were no volcanoes erupting waterfalls to climb or fights with large ferocious animals it was just a 55 year young man with cancer going for a little stroll in his local area, the path I took was in my mind chosen by the universe it was meant to be in some way or another.

I walked for about 15 minutes down a cycle and pedestrian footpath which lead me to the M2 bridge which crosses the river Medway. It’s quite a walk and I had never walked over this bridge. This is sadly the path that many take to end their lives by jumping off the bridge into the river below. All along the bridge there were little notes that someone had kindly put up. I stopped and read them all, a tear in my eye. The emotion tap was turned fully on. 

The notes were little sayings that hopefully a suicidal person would read and change their mind. I can’t remember what the notes said , my short term memory has been shot to bits likely. Things like “don’t ever give up” & “it’s never too late to ask for help” 

I walked all the way across the bridge, it’s a large bridge and stopped to read each note. It made me feel lucky to be alive , it made me feel thankful that I had the ability to walk this far. I don’t understand what goes through someone’s mind when they make the decision to jump. I thought comes into my mind , that it would be easier for me to make that jump, it would be easier than to spend the rest of my life fighting this disease. 

Life is a fight anyway, I will never give in the fight , the notes I read inspired me to keep going, no matter how bad it gets I will cast my mind back to those notes and say thanks that I’m not in such a poor state that jumping is the only way, perhaps the universe brought me down this direction to make me see that, who knows.

I continued the walk , I shouted at the top of my voice to my cancer, no one would hear my voice the motorway the traffic was so loud. I screamed at it , it’s got no chance I will win. 

I finally finished walking across the bridge and made a turn left , I figured let’s just keep on walking and see where it goes. I loved the walk, it went down a nice overgrown footpath the birds were singing the frost was sparkling on the trees and the grass, I crossed frozen puddles and just kept on walking. I said hello to everysingle person I met along the path, most said something back and gave me a smile, just a man and his bright blue jacket going for a stroll. They didn’t know I was ill , I didn’t know what was happening in their lives, but giving someone a smile and saying hello can only enrich our lives a bit, can’t it,of course it can!

As always my head was in nature, I thought I spotted a seal in the river , but it was too far away to be absolutely sure. Some thing large and black and I think seal shaped surfaced for a few seconds and then was gone. I can’t think what else it could be except a porpoise or a dolphin. I would love to see a dolphin swimming up the river. 

I saw a few of the birds on this sign today in fact all of them.

I took some pictures along the way, my camera on my phone never captures the real beauty of what I see through my eyes I walked untill I came to another bridge, this was the Rochester bridge. I have to admit that I was starting to feel sore and tired. My Garmin app confirmed I had already walked nearly 7km and I still had to walk home. Stupid boy.

I stopped for a coffee in the what ever the coffee shop is called , I looked in the window it wasn’t busy I asked for a decaff late with almond milk and no suger, gone are my flatwhite days with sugar and chocolate sprinkles. I sat down in a quiet corner, had a nice chat with my sister and told her what’s been going on the last couple of days.😓

Time to finish the walk , I finished my coffee, it was really nice , I don’t miss sugar or chocolate sprinkles it’s the new norm, it’s surprising how our taste buds just agree to accept something new after a short while.☕

I’m having the hottest hot flush ever as I’m writing this bit , I forgot to mention that I had another hormone injection yesterday , a stronger one than before so along with the four tablets every evening and a stronger dose of hormone in the injection, I digress a bit. As I was on the last stretch of the walk my tummy started to hurt where the injection went in. A funny thing happened yesterday , I received a call, “hi its the nurse who is going to do your injection, unfortunately your normal nurse has got covid, I’ve never done this injection before but don’t worry ill read up on it and see you later.”

Another rookie with a rather large needle 😂

The injection took about 5 minutes yesterday that’s why it’s sore today. She was great and despite the size of this needle she was very careful, I didn’t feel a thing , I scored her 10/10.💉

Back to the walk my legs were aching my right leg was quite painful and my tummy was hurting , I got home at 13.20, 3 hrs and twenty minutes after I set off this morning 

After that pretty long walk today and I’m feeling it now, my right leg is telling me off, it’s saying you fool don’t you know people with sciatica and cancer are not supposed to be walking such long distances, it has got a point, I mean I rarely walked 9km before all this illness turned up on my doorstep and buggered my life up. To make matters worse I had a  physio session at 16.20 , time to knock up a smoothie and a nap. The smoothie was the best one so far just incredibly delicious considering the main ingredients were spinich, carrots, seeds, huel powder, an apple, a tangerine and it’s peel, tumeric and ginger. 🍹🍏🍊

The nap was perfect, I then had enough time to get to the physio. The guy who did the session was a nice guy , he was uncomfortable working with me and would not use the word cancer, it was obvious to me that he didn’t fancy this job. He showed me some very light exercises and gave me a leaflet, he was not a physio who specialises in cancer patients that’s for sure. The session lasted about 30 minutes he was gradually relaxing towards the end.🚶

Overall the last few days have been pretty good the drugs seem to have released its hold on me, I don’t feel as negative as I did at the weekend and a lot of stuff has been done in these past few days.💊

I’m making good progress on my virtual walk from Helsinki to lapland it give me motivation that each step I take gets me closer to my goal.

There is even some signs of snow as I virtually leave the outskirts of the city of Helsinki and make my way through some lovely scenery on my way to Lapland 

Please also help me in my quest to raise money for prostate cancer UK, I’m going to be walking a marathon in January over 30 days. Ive already raised £660 which is incredible again as with the Samaritans walk I would love to raise £1000 for what is an incredibly important charity for men.

Here is the link to my own fund raising page.

https://runthemonthme.prostatecanceruk.org/fundraising/keith-woodwards-run-the-month-challenge-for-p

As I’m lying here now in bed very tired and a bit sore reflecting on the last few days 

I’m grateful for the walk I took today ♥️

I’m grateful for just being able to do it♥️

I’m grateful for my family♥️

I’m grateful for all of the support I’ve received from friends ♥️

I’m gratefull for my medicine and the doctor’s and nurses that have looked after me♥️

.grateful for just being alive and experiencing the world in a different way ♥️