Walking with cancer

I decided to walk it , but not along the road, I would take an alternative route and walk alongside the river Medway. I wasn’t sure how long it would take as I hadn’t done this route before but I knew there is a route into town.

I set off enthusiasticly, wearing my not so new bright blue jacket, it was cold today but walking soon warms you up. I was accompanied on the first part of the walk by my good friend Rick on the phone, I walked to the river and stopped to admire the view. The river looked to be in a lazy mood almost like a lake as it slowly flowed down to the sea. 

I appreciate the very fact that I am capable of walking, it does feel like it’s doing me good as I’ve said before. I’ve noticed my breathing is better when I’m walking even up hill. I used to get out of breath very quickly, you see I’ve got a history of lung problems so I’ve struggled for a long time with walking up stairs and stuff, well that seems to have got easier.

I walked along a narrow pathway that was overgrown with bushes many carrying berries and sharp pointy thorns. There was no one else on the pathway. Me and nature again. The river to my right was my guide. The path split several times. I made decisions based on what felt right. I was being guided, I knew it , this might sound strange to you but my inner wisdom was telling me which path to take.

I walked for about 45 minutes and the path came out about 100 meters from Morrisons I had never been on that route before, cheers Ricky for accompanying me on that little journey. 

Next was the journey home, I spoke to my mum and dad on the phone whilst I was walking around the car park , I didn’t want to stop walking, it’s my dad’s birthday today we had a lovely chat about stuff.

Then I realised it was starting to get dark, I needed to set off quickly, I retraced my steps back through the path and then kept the river on my left , I was accompanied for most of the return journey by my very good friend Nicky , I know you read this, thank you for the lovely chat. 

I got home safely it was dark.

I so enjoyed the walk and the conversation I’ve clocked up just over 10,000 steps today which is approximately 5 miles. I’m 5 % of the way to Lapland sadly Google Street view wasn’t working on the app today.

I can’t explain what walking is doing to me right now. It’s giving me a massive purpose in life to just keep on walking, my body seems on my side and agrees with my walking, I’m grateful for that, it could so easily just tell me  NO Woody you can’t walk I’m refusing to allow it and there is nothing you can do about it buddy, the drugs im on could also refuse to allow me to walk, so thanks drugs I really appreciate that.

I have to be aware of my limitations my 10 year old mind full of awe and wonderment of nature tells me it’s ok just keep on walking, it’s all good, you can walk forever. Thankfully my adult mind realises there are consequences and I have to listen to that mind rather than the young explorer in me that’s desperate to take over and to be fair it’s winning.

Walking and me are an item now, we are married into this beautiful partnership and are in love. I can walk in all weathers, remember there no such thing as bad weather only bad clothing as the Norwegians love to say, although I’ve never heard one say it so I’ll just have to take it that they do. The not so new bright blue jacket loves walking too it keeps me warm and also cool. Walking and me have found each other, sounds strange but without it I would struggle to find motivation sat at home all day. It’s like medicine,.my kryptonite and the universe all combined in one.

Oh I’ve read a few more pages of Radical Remission, the book I brought yesterday. It’s inspiring to read the cancer survivors who had been told there was nothing to be done to save them anymore except the kindness of palliative care , they said fuck off cancer (sorry mum for the potty mouth) I’m going no where and miraculously survived, cancer free. How did over one thousand five hundred people do that. Inner wisdom and innate health is my best bet. We heal much quicker when our minds are free. Almost all illness is stress related, we are all carrying the potential cancer cells , stress allows them to grow, that I’m convinced of. People who survive cancer in this way have basically let go of fighting life and are finally free to live. My model for survival, let’s not beat about the bush I’m in a serious bad way here, is to let go, I’m changing my life in so many ways. I believe you must change in order to get a change. I’m in a good place right now, I’m confident , I’m in charge and I feel the universe is flowing through me, how else can you explain the highs I’m having. 🙏It sure is a rollercoaster ride, I feel I’m in the top screaming faster faster.🎢 I’m full of happiness right now despite it all. My bet is cancer doesn’t like living in a person like me, I’m hoping it decides it’s had enough of positivity and decides enough is enough I can’t beat this guy I’m out of here. My diet is now fruit and veg based. I drink a lot of water each day and I’m feeling great.😃❤️

Please again if you are reading this or know someone who is suffering with anything, get outside , it doesn’t matter even if you wrap up warm and sit outside a few hours ago it will do your soul a world of good. Go for a walk , start of with a little walk and build it up gradually. Keep positive , laugh at the rain smile no matter how bad you feel , a smile changes every cell in your body. Smiling can’t make you sad, laugh a lot no matter how shit it all is , look for laughter and it will follow you around. Laugh at your own misfortunes they don’t quite seem so bad. I said this blog doesn’t hold back, I wet myself a few days ago. I could of cried , 😢I could of punished myself with shame told myself how stupid I am how pathetic I am, the truth is I didn’t mean to, it just happened, it’s a part of my condition, I got home jumped in the shower and started laughing, it wasn’t my fault so why should I feel bad and take the blame and the shame, luckily it was when I was walking in the pouring rain so I was soaked through anyway, it’s something that I’ve got to deal with. Well you wanted the truth didn’t you it’s not all rainbows and unicorns this cancer stuff.

People ask how can you be so positive , I would be a mess, well the truth is I am a mess, of course I’m a mess, I’ve got this awful disease that’s slowly killing me. It’s just what is the point of being a mess. I’m loving life because I’m living my life on my terms, ok I’m not out teaching people to drive ambulances and that kills me, it was my dream job , my passion my pride and that has been snatched away. But I can’t let that bother me , I replace it with something else for now and that’s my walking. 😢

The alternative is to stay at home becoming weaker and weaker one of the trade offs in my medication is a high risk of osteoporosis, the cancer had already caused my two vertibrae fractures, if I don’t get up and do something I will be too weak to do anything and then you can say cancer beat him. That’s just not happening, my spirit won’t allow it, my wife and kids can’t see their dad and his life and body  slowly crumbling away it can’t happen which is why I’m fighting hard to keep some fitness going. The best thing to come my way was the Samaritans walk, it came out of the blue, I was thinking what can I do to help, how do I do a fund raiser . Then on Facebook this ad appeared,

it was the jog 30k I asked them if it was ok if I could walk they said yes of course and so bit by bit my love affair with walking began and thanks to you lovely kind and generous people the Samaritans are £1000 better off and I’m slightly fitter. Now the advert that appeared in my front of me that day was in my opinion was sent by the universe to me at precisely the right time of that I’m totally convinced. It’s opened up a door for me which ive gladly accepted and walked in.I’m not lying in self pity wasting away I’m out their walking and loving every step of the journey, every step is taking me to Lapland and health, I have to believe every step is healing me in some minute way, the universe has shown me a way and I’m following my heart ❤️

You should too, the universe doesn’t do things brashly it’s subtle and beautiful in its very nature, look for signs , if the universe is telling you something, then sit up and take notice.

There is always a positive in everything you just have to seek it out , usually it’s right in front of you if you open your eyes. Laughing is a positive you can laugh whenever you chose, you can cry too it’s not a bad thing you know it’s just a release of emotions , men don’t like crying, I’ve done it all my life. I’ve never felt bad after a cry I feel released, it’s strange it’s a way of letting go, don’t hold it all in it needs emptying. Keep believing remember if 1500 people can cure themselves with no medical explanation what so ever then so can anyone. ❤️🙏