The day I found out Ive got cancer
It was about a 2 weeks ago, I was in the hospital grounds and had just had a blood test for PSA ( prostate cancer test) and I had just paid my parking ticket and was heading home when a series of events that day was to lead me to realise the impossible truth that I’ve got cancer.
I received a phone call from the oncology dept ( had no idea who they were at the time)
They wanted me to come back into the hospital and I was met by two nurses who led me into a little room and basically said my CT and MRI scans from the week before were troubling. Troubling is a strange word, it can be used to describe a lot of things on all kinds of different levels.
At this time I was just assuming I was suffering from Sciatica, so troubling to me could have meant anything.
I was readmitted into the hospital through A&E where I stayed for the rest of the day whilst they carefully controlled my pain levels.
I had been in a lot of pain over the previous few months again assuming it was just Sciatica.
The point where I fully got the fact that I might have cancer was when I wheeled into the McMillan Lawrence cancer ward later that evening when a room become clear.
I’ve got cancer
Well this is it, the penny dropped, I’ve got cancer, I mean they don’t put people in a cancer ward if they don’t have it do they?
It was a surreal experience, I was in my own little room, room no 1 first on the left as you roll in.
I realise that this was the point when I thought I’ve got some fighting to do here.
My weapons of choice were to be kindness, I made up my mind that I would be kind to every single person I came into contact with
Positivity, one of the most powerful weapons there is , I was going to be positive no matter what, I swear.
Gratitude, I’m going to be grateful for absolutely everything again no matter what.
After having covid and MRSA swabs I fell asleep in this little room, armed to the teeth with kindness, positivity and gratitude.
I fell, asleep surprisingly easy that first night
Tomorrow the adventure begins
