Another week or two of thoughts living with cancer
Good morning or night or what ever it is in your part of the world right this very moment. Ok where do I begin, it’s been nearly another two weeks since I put my thinking into words and as far as I can tell things are on the up. Cancer is listening to me and I don’t think it likes what my body is telling it. I hope it’s upset and wants to leave my body, I won’t be too upset if that’s the deal. Sometimes you just know when a guest has out stated their welcome there’s that awkward silence and then it’s time to go you both know it. Except not In this case, I’m running to open the front door and telling it enough is enough I don’t want you no more, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way when cancer is the visitor.😥
I’m at the stage now where I believe really strongly that I’m going to win this battle, this fight this war, whatever you wish to call something where you are basically fighting yourself. I refuse to think any other way, this is my power and I think the universe might be listening to me. 🙏
Its been a positive few weeks, I’m feeling good although my good now compared to before I was diagnosed with cancer is a different good. I can’t measure feelings the same it’s all just on a different wave length than it was before. It’s like I’m living on FM instead of AM frequency or something like that. The only thing left of cancer at the moment is the fatigue and that is not as bad as it once was. I finish a day’s work and I’m knackered but I’m learning to cope with that. I usually get home and have around an hour to two hours sleep. I actually love this sleep it’s like I’ve plugged myself in for a quick recharge which then sees me through to actual bed time. That shortish sleep just does me the world of good and it means I can then have a reasonable evening with my wife and kids, without sitting there like a nodding dog constantly drifting in and out of consciousness, I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve fell asleep talking with the kids. I’m lucky it doesn’t affect me during the working day for that I’m very very grateful🙏
I get up early so I can go through my Wim Hof breathing routines and then the cold shower I’m then ready to face the day full of life and energy. I’ve been quite astonished at the breathing technique the last two mornings I’ve manage to hold my breath for the full 3 minutes on the last go. If you don’t know what I’m on about here’s a link this is the advanced one you can find the beginner video on YouTube.
I’ve been doing the Wim Hof method for a while now and I’m not sure if it’s this or some kind of placebo but my pain levels have sunk even further and I feel really good both mentally and physically, who knows it could be a coincident but in my mind I fully believe that something is happening and I’ve never felt so positive since this all began. Perhaps my own self belief in this working is enough to make it work. I had a consultation with my oncologist last week and her parting words were “Woody whatever it is you are doing keep doing it”. I think to conquer this I have to live my life like cancer doesn’t matter as if I’ve already beaten it and it’s already gone from my body. I believe that is the only way to face the future act like it doesn’t exist, bury my head in the sand so to speak but live my life with out the death sentence just waiting for the executioners axe to fall. The Grim Reaper can wait a bit longer and if he comes a knocking I’ll just pretend I’m not in.
My latest MRI showed no deteriation, no tumors have grown and no new ones. Considering the state I was in last sept with my spine on the verge of collapse and PSA level through the roof tumors breaking out I would say compared to that I’m pretty dam healthy. I have new CT and bone scans next week so I will be keeping it all crossed that it reveals nothing new. That’s the scary part, the what if thought that pervades my thoughts. I try to push it to the side, focus on something else, act like it’s not there. What thought 😀
Ive been really focusing on a more spiritual way of thinking and that is also doing me good. I’m not a religious man as such in the traditional sence of the word but I do believe there is some universal force that guides protects and points us in the right direction and the right path. I know a lot about the human mind and I’m getting more and more convinced in the power of meditation and reaching a deeper level of acknowledgement and acceptance of a higher power. Hey when you are in the mess I’m in you have to turn to something or become lost forever.
I like my new place of work I’m now working close to home which means no more staying away and long hours on the road going back and forth always being stuck in delays. I leave early now because the place I’m based at now has the most amazing pond and fountains and lots of mesmerising colourful koi carp swimming around and to start the day having a cup of tea or coffee whilst watching the fountains dancing is just perfect for the mind body and soul🙏
A very Zen start to the day
The world is a strange place, I watch everyone fighting to get somewhere quicker than anyone else. My drive to work makes me realise how prescious it all is and I feel sorry for those that are trying to rush through their lives as fast as possible. My journey to work is peaceful I smile at the madness with some pity. Having cancer gives me a gift, the gift of awareness. I’m aware of life because it’s now so valuable too waste. My fatigue upsets me at times but I deal with it. I don’t want to waste a second but I have to rest up and take it slowly. If I have one message for any one reading this today it’s to slow down, appreciate the moment you are in, stop wishing time away, you never truly know how much of this beautiful thing called life you have been blessed with. Don’t waste it, the bad times are only there to make the good times feel even better. I’ll leave you with this fabulous thought.
If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. -Oprah Winfrey
Love Woody ❤️
Men please check your risk of Prostate Cancer by clicking on the link below. I wish I had known about this a year ago.😥
https://prostatecanceruk.org/risk-checker.
