The cancer adventure continues

A week into the 12 week treatment process to get rid of this new unwelcome guest to my body and that is skin cancer. I have a patch on top of my scalp that cover the top of my head and each night my wife lovingly🙂 rubs this acid cream onto it. It’s not fun but I guess nothing which includes cancer ever is. It’s hard to explain the feeling but as soon as the cream touches my head I can feel this deep burning sensation, I hold on tight and tell myself it doesn’t hurt, bring it on and remarkably since I’m fronting up to it the pain has definitely diminished. It lasts about half hour or I just fall asleep so in reality a walk in the park it’s not but it ain’t so bad.

As with any illness it’s the mental stress that goes with it thats the problem. My mind can make the illness worse or better of that I’m convinced, I chose to make it better.

I write a gratitude journal everyday, it’s surprising now how easily it is to fill it. Sometimes it’s a repeat of yesterday and the days before, I always start with how grateful I am for having two beautiful daughters and an amazing wife, I’m always grateful most days to my cancer, I tell it thanks for not hurting me, I think it listens. I know it’s always there, listening waiting. I hope it’s listening and getting ready to pack up and leave me.

Yesterday I was grateful for being stuck in traffic, just having the opportunity to be stuck in traffic means I’m alive I’m driving I’m functioning. I was grateful for getting wet by the rain, I told the rain thank you, slightly sarcastically I must admit😉

In fact I’m grateful for all the crap things that most people would get upset about, it’s strange to be grateful when things aren’t going right but for me it means I’ve had the opportunity to experience something, strange, but just the very fact of being alive means I’m grateful.

I often have this nagging thought about how much time I have, coming up is my 2nd Christmas. When I was first diagnosed I was so terrified, I would have taken two Christmases. I pestered my oncologist to tell me how much time I have, she said 2 years minimum 5 years at best, wow a wave of gratitude washed over me when I heard that. Now I’m not settling for that but I’m not greedy I’ll just take what I get and make the best of that. Anyway I’m convinced that this won’t kill me, I’ve got too many ambulance students trying to do that on a daily basis 😀

The truth is, I don’t plan ahead I take each day as it comes. Living in the moment is where true happiness lives. My future is an exciting mystery that will develop from each day. I could tomorrow change a pathway and a new journey might start, that is the beauty of life.

I’m enjoying a nice cup of coffee, I drink it mindfully, I love the smell, I love the heat on the cup as it warms my hands and of course I like to sip it slowly as if I have all the time in the world. Each sip is a delightful experience, have you ever drunk coffee in that way? it really tastes remarkable. I remember once when I used to drink it with out noticing the taste, what a waste of coffee☕

My you tube channel seems to be growing, over 10000 views in the last 28 days and climbing. People are talking to me. I’m hoping to create a channel where anyone with cancer doesn’t have to feel alone. It’s strange but when you have this illness despite all the best wishes of family and friends trying to help you still feel incredibly alone, I think you can only have cancer to really understand this. I don’t want anyone to feel alone. The YouTube channel has got people talking about themselves to me and each other. I would have loved to find a channel like this when I first found out because it all seemed like it was one dark road with no lights in sight. I know a lot now and I’ve been interested in how the mind and body work for many years so I can share some of the stuff that helps me.

Just had a knock on the door, two lovely young people trying to talk me into having a Bible reading. Normally I would have turned them away, politely of course but today something told me to listen. They left me this, how ironic 🙏

I’m going to have to go, I’ve got chores today. I used to hate them but now I’m just grateful to be here to do them. Untill next time be kind be grateful and stay positive.

Love Woody 💞