keeping positive in my fight against cancer.

I’ve been discharged from hospital 3 weeks today.

I love the NHS im proud to be someone who trains their ambulance drivers and when I was an in patient I was looked after incredibly well by every single person I came across and I really mean that, every single person was a credit to the NHS.❤️

But it’s not quite the same story when it comes to leaving the protective blanket and becoming an out patient.

Now I’ve always promised to keep this blog positive but this needs to be said because it’s in my thoughts. The past three weeks having been sent home with no idea what to expect next nobody has contacted me untill yesterday.

I’ve been waiting I’m not sure for what , but when you are in a bad way with cancer you know that any delay could be a shortening of your life. I’ve been waiting for some sort of guidance . 

What’s next I thought I was going to be having a bone biopsy chemo therapy all of this was talked about at the hospital before I left. People have to realise that it is very scary being in the dark about this stuff.

So each week I’ve called the hospital to ask what’s going on with treatment and sadly each week I was fobbed off and nothing was followed up. 

Yesterday I decided enough is enough and I phoned around several places and told them about the complete lack of communication.

Anyway yesterday people started to ring me and today the same thing and Monday next week I’ve got a consultation at the hospital to discuss the next stage of the treatment plan.🙏

I believe this only happened because I started asking questions, I think it’s natural I was becoming frightened. 😱

This is where the NHS needs to do much better anyway rant over I’m now back in the system.💚

Ok my love affair with the NHS is back on again ❤️ 

Almost every day I try to really maximise my experiences of everyday things that we take for granted normally , it’s surprising that some really simple pleasures are now so special.

Today I had a Costa coffee for the first time for about a month. I picked it up at the garage on my way back from the PSA blood test.

What is it about a Costa coffee, it just stands out from every coffee there is. I had a large cappuccino to go, chocolate powder , yes please😀 and sat back at home in the garden and savoured every single drop of it , almost like it was the last one I’ll ever drink. It won’t be because I’m planning on walking down to the garage tomorrow for another that’s motivation for you 😀

The sun shone in parts today , I got about an hour’s worth at lunch time. Again, for me, sitting in the warm sun is just wonderful Ive never been a sun worshiper, I burn just looking at the holiday brochure, I’ve got very pale and sensitive freckly skin, but right now the October sun is just what I need and actually there’s been plenty of it and for that I’m incredibly grateful Thank you 🙏

I love also sitting outside in the garden when it’s dark. I wrap up warm and just love the feel of the cold air against my face whilst the rest of me is toasty warm inside my jacket. I close my eyes and imagine I’m sking for a few seconds.The cold air on my face flying down an alpine mountain. I often visualise myself into places that I lived and worked before earlier in my life. 

My favourite place to go to is a beach in Crete just outside of a bar I used to work in back in my younger days. The bar was the Highland Laddie in the resort of Kokini Hani  god I loved that place I’ve visited it so many times in my imagination it really does feel like I’m there , that’s an idea for a future blog to do a full visualisation write up because that might help someone reading this. 

Did you know this interesting fact , if you visualise going somewhere in your mind , your brain can’t tell the difference it acts exactly as if you are in that place.

Facinating stuff , I used to teach all this on my workshops in my other life.

I’m going to use visualisation a lot in the weeks ahead I just know I’m going to need too. What a wonderful tool to use though. The power of imagination is endless🤔

Something I’m interested in is I’m going to do some more research into visualising good cells attacking cancerous cells, hey why the hell not it’s another weapon I can possibly use in this fight I’ve already heard some interesting stuff about doing this. More about that later.

In my mind if I’m doing something no matter how small that’s a positive.➕

My love for tea is running out of control too. I’ve got all different types of tea my current favourite is a tea bag that has green tea hunny and lemon and something else which I’ve completly forgot  🍋

So I sat outside with my cup of tea and just soaked it all in. The sun had set and the moon was rising i took a picture .

The stars have always held a unique fascination for me, my mum always said I walk around with my head in the stars. There has to be something else out there on a galaxy somewhere. I once saw a a UFO , in fact I wasn’t the only one it was reported on the news that night too and then nothing else was heard, I know what I saw that night 🛸

My daughter Nieve has been a bit poorly the past two days so she’s had to stay at home with her dad. Such a shame 😃 

We’ve had a nice time watching movies and generally just doing nothing , we’ve had some lovely chats, for an 11 yr old she’s got a lot of wisdom already in her pretty little head. She understands how thoughts are controlling her experience, I just know that what ever happens to me she will be ok. 🙏

I’ve become a lot closer to Ella recently she was going through a phase of becoming quite withdrawn way before my illness started, but I think she’s slowly emerging back into the world again . Covid has a lot to answer for and I truly believe the past two years of Covid and lock downs took a lot of my Ella’s confidence away.😔

My girls are my inspiration and my motivation to beat this. You can not have a more powerful motivation than a dad’s love for his daughters. 

I know the universe is on my side. People may read this and say what a fool but in my mind the universe is my god my bhudha my Alah my Krishna my Jesus all rolled into one.

For me it’s a life force of pure energy and right now this is my faith.❤️

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